The Gift of MS

Perhaps you have gotten the e-mail written by Erma Bombeck called 'If I Had to Live My Life Over', written after she found out she had cancer. While I am not comparing my situation to that of terminal cancer, nor can I write like Erma Bombeck, I have known that I have MS for 5 months now, a bit of time to digest and reflect on it and have decided that there are many good things that have come from this diagnosis.

I now have permission (from myself) to take care of me and make my health a priority.

Along those lines, I take guilt-free naps. If I'm tired, I go lie down.

A clean house is not my priority and I no longer care about being judged for my inadequate housekeeping.

There is a renewed appreciation for my kids and every second I get with them.

My gratitude and admiration for friends and family has been transformed. They make life worthwhile.

I'm developing the ability to accept help when offered and ask for it when needed. That can be hard.

I have discovered the word "no" and don't feel (as) bad for doing what's best for me. Another work in progress but it's also something I am learning I have to do.

I want to live in the now - no more putting off things until "a better time"; there is no better time than the present. No more, "NEXT Thanksgiving, I'll make dinner..." "NEXT Christmas, we'll have a party..."

No more worrying about things I have no control over. My new, favorite saying is, "I can't own that." If I can't change it, it's not worth fretting about.

There is forgiveness. Of both myself and others. I'm learning to "Let it go" and and have realized most things are not worth my energy; I'm very selective with my energy now.

I love and appreciate my husband more than ever.

I have decided to view this disease as a blessing. It has put a lot of things in perspective and caused me to do many things that I might not have but should have. And while I'm in no way dying, I have a new appreciation for my life and good health and am trying not to take anything for granted. To me, those are invaluable gifts that I would not have gotten any other way except becoming sick; in my case, with Multiple Sclerosis. So while I don't love having MS and the fear of the unknown can be overwhelming, I'm embracing it and am going to flourish because of it - not in spite of it.